Sorrow

After reading some blog which i have been following, i feel rather sad, me too made mistakes in the past until now i still couldn't do any thing..

When i try to not angry with these people, i just couldn't make up my mind, really, and sometimes i just feel like going to suicide my self seeing things which was caused by my mistakes..

Sometimes, i feel like slapping my self but i couldn't do it.. i did everything just to make myself happy and i DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER WHAT THE PERSON AROUND ME MIGHT THINK AND MIGHT FEEL.. I JUST TAKE IT FOR GRATED...

F***,M*****F*****... i am so dumb ass.. today again, i made him angry, really i am the most useless guy in the entire earth, i am a community trash, an indispensable trash which i am still breathing until today, i made him sighed again, i made someone cry, i made him feel agitated and all still... but the worst scenario is that not only one person but two and is going to be more...

God, please stop the whatever it is and make me wake up, i feel that now, jumping off the second floor is the best choice, i am sitting in the balcony, writing this blog and thinking of jumping and let my head hit straight to the ground...really is an encouraging moment right now in this minute..